#13 Is It Worth Loving Her?

I met a guy online a few days back. He inspired me into writing this story. His story. At least a story that he CLAIMED was his.


A 17-year-old, normal, socially active guy, let’s call him John, had trust issues since the day he lost his mentor. He remained sad most part of the day, secluded, rather aloof. He started talking less, and for him it wasn’t normal at all. His grades started dropping, his attention span reduced drastically and he, a big time autophobic once, started enjoying solitude.

He was at the gym class one day when he met a girl, probably his age, let’s call her Jane. Jane was the perfect friend. She looked after him, cared for him, talked to him a lot, rather talked him out of his solitary life. John was back to normal again. He could cope with his big loss now. And strangely, he trusted Jane. Jane however was a cheerleader. Popular, busy, someone everybody wanted to be with, but the only difference was her attitude. She was perhaps the most beautiful girl John had ever met. After graduating they landed up in the same college. Different majors, but the same city. John felt the need for Jane’s presence every second of his life. He started missing her too often, checking his phone too often, looking up to her window too often. They were grown ups now. About 20 years of age. Mature enough to know what they felt.

Jane had never Friend-Zoned him, but John had never felt that she had feelings for him either. They had known each other way too long now. They were the best of friends. Ipso Facto, Jane was the Maid of Honour at John’s sister’s wedding. It was something John had trouble believing, he had trouble accepting that he loved her. He had loved her since the day they met and every minute they spent with each other was like a waterfall filling that lake.

They had talked about love before, in general. John knew Jane didn’t want trouble in her life. Nor did John. He had been hit hard in this “love” thing. He always wondered what Jane’s reasons were. She never told him. He never tried to ask. It had always been a sentimental issue,

He knew he couldn’t tell her that all the numerous times he had said that he loved her was his heart’s call. He couldn’t tell her that each time she replied saying “I love you too.” he got shivers down his spine. He knew he must keep this a secret. “Jane was smart, she’d know of course. She just chose not to react, perhaps.” he always thought. “Even if she doesn’t know, I must not trouble her.”

He loved her more and more each day.and let another two years pass, till they completed college and started work. He had had numerous girls flirting with him, he could just never see beyond Jane. He could never even think beyond Jane. No matter how much he tried he was stuck.

He hid his feelings for a long time and one day Jane got a brilliant Job offer abroad. As a matter of fact, she didn’t even ask John before accepting it, however, he was the first to get the good news.

She raced into his arms and hugged him tight.

“John, I got that job I always wanted. I can’t believe I’m going.”

John turned pale. He knew what this meant.

“Uh. Wow, Jane, I’m so happy for you.” He managed.

“I know.” and she broke the hug and held his shoulders. “Thankyou so so much John. For everything.” she smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” he said with his soul ripping his body. “Now go get packing.”

“Yeah! Oh my God I’m so excited.” and just like that… she left leaving John behind. As soon as she went out of sight John burst into tears. (It makes me tear up too while I type this.)

All he could think was “Is it worth loving her?” He closed his eyes and saw her smiling… he turned his swollen eyes to the sky and thanked the Gods for giving him Jane, for whatever little time they had together… and whispered the answer…

 

“Always.”

 

 Though lovers be lost, love shall not.

– Dylan Thomas

 

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